Do you complain too much? What do you complain about? Here’s a little tough love from Lynn
I used to be a major complainer. I would spend much of my time writing and sending complaint letters to companies who I felt wronged me. It didn’t matter if it was a fast food worker who didn’t get my order quite right or forgot to give me ketchup — I would probably take the time out to write a letter.
I was also a silent complainer. I held my pity parties all alone and in my head:
“No one is ever there for me.”
“No one cares about me.”
“I can’t trust anybody.”
Over time, I learned a hard lesson. In most cases, no one really gives a care about your complaints. They are focused on what is going on in their own worlds. Think about it — do you care much about the complaints of others? Or do you just find them annoying?
If you open your eyes and your mind, removing the tendency to complain about what’s going wrong in your world, you’ll probably see that you have some pretty great things going RIGHT.
You have privileges, talents and benefits that others don’t have, but if you spend all of your time focusing on the negative you’ll never get a chance to see them.
So here comes the tough love that you may find difficult to accept. Everything that you experience in this life as an adult is your own fault and you always have the option to “opt out” of experiencing negative consequences.
You don’t like how a fast food worker talked to you? They get paid minimum wage and most don’t like their jobs, so if you want pristine treatment maybe you shouldn’t be going to a fast food restaurant. Cook healthy food at home instead.
You hate your job? Quit it and try something else that you love to do. It might not make you as much money and you might have to sleep on a few couches along the way, but guess what? You no longer have that job to complain about!
You’re tired of being treated like a disposable woman by men? Don’t allow them to sneeze all over you and then toss you away without a second thought anymore. That’s 100% in your control, just say NO.
There’s value in making your voice heard on certain issues, because if we never spoke up about problems in society, change wouldn’t happen. But there’s a difference between complaining and voicing your opinion — in the former case you’re just sending out negativity (venting) but in the latter case you have a positive outcome in mind that can be universally beneficial. Know the difference.
If you want to #THRIVE, stop complaining about what’s wrong in your life, and start focusing more on positive solutions.
Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a self-help guide entitled Survive, Live or Thrive? and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.