From the time were young we’re taught this formula:
But in real life this formula doesn’t always ring true. In fact, life tends to throw out much more complex equations like:
(-3 ± sqrt(19))/2^ 2×2+6y÷4/z-5 = ???
You’ll frequently find people complaining about how unfair life is. Maybe you are one of these people (I know I definitely was).
“It’s not fair that I’m a good person and seem to have such bad luck.”
“It’s not fair that my friend with the bad attitude is married with kids and I’m not.”
“It’s not fair that I don’t have the job that I want.”
“It’s not fair that society values superficial things instead of what really matters.”
When we complain about what’s not fair about life, who exactly are we expecting to fix it? Some outside force? The government? A divine act from God? The scales of justice? Who do we want to come to the rescue? How can “they” put and keep things in balance?
The fact of the matter is that the world is the way that it is because of the individual people in it. We each have free will to make our own choices and make our realities. We are responsible for the condition of this world and everything in it.
There are things that we can change and things that we can’t change as individuals. As the prayer goes (The Serenity Prayer), we have to learn the difference between the two:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
– Reinhold Niebuhr
You are responsible for your corner of the world, so the focus shouldn’t always be on what others are doing or what others are getting away with that doesn’t seem fair to you — it should be on making your corner of the world more beautiful. Make life as wonderful and fulfilling for yourself and the people you love as you can, because that’s totally in your power.
We can literally drive ourselves crazy wondering why the world isn’t fair. And yea, sometimes the way things go just don’t seem fair, but when you meditate on that simple prayer “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” the answer seems clearer.
It’s not really our job to figure out why things aren’t always “fair” according to our own definition. It’s not our job to fix all of the imbalances in the world.
Our resources are best used when we focus on SELF-improvement first. In that, we develop the courage to change the things that we can. (And those things might just turn out to be larger than life.)
At least that’s my understanding of it.
Go be great.
Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a self-help guide entitled Survive, Live or Thrive?and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.