Month: May 2014

To Think of Yourself is Human… To Consider Others, Divine

I know someone who has a very high self-esteem. She honestly and truly believes that she is the most important person walking the earth. She is completely unconcerned with a matter until it directly affects her. She seems unable to relate to or care about anyone else’s inconveniences, struggles or issues.

And she is the most important person… in her world.

It’s good to have very high self-esteem; a lot of women don’t, which is why they often get jerked around here and there by men and life.

But I think it’s even better, maybe divine, to have a healthy self-esteem. This means while you put yourself first, you are still in-tuned with the needs of others.

I believe each of us is put here to make a contribution to make this world better somehow, whether it’s in a small or large way. If we hold an ultra narcissistic viewpoint, the only person we’re contributing to is ourselves.

I have had to learn the hard way that doing the right thing for and by others doesn’t automatically mean that special blessings will come your way. This belief is why a lot of good people find themselves depressed and stressed. The truth that I’m learning is that our special blessings and successes in life have little to nothing to do with kind works — you have to truly believe that you deserve good things in life for them to come to you. This is why having a healthy self-esteem is so important.

But I do believe that when you consider the feelings and struggles of others… that when you’re kind to others when they need it most… that when you’re bold enough to step up for someone when everyone else steps back, you are recognized by the Universe as a divine entity rather than just a plain old human. It does matter. You’re contributing to the world in ways that you may not even realize are making an impact.

It’s perfectly fine to put yourself first in life (no one else is going to do that but you). But when you’re up (or even when you’re a little down), try showing someone else some concern, love and support once in a while — it might be just the thing they need to keep moving forward boldly and to develop their own healthy sense of self-esteem.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a self-help guide entitled Survive, Live or Thrive? and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

An Audiobook Changed My Life

The story of how I got through a deep depression by listening to an audiobook.

All that I could see ahead was hopelessness, despair and unhappiness. My best friend and fiancé was gone from the earth. I was all alone. I didn’t receive any texts or calls from anyone for weeks. My money wasn’t right. I wasn’t fulfilled and I had abandoned all of my projects. I didn’t know what to do with myself other than just… exist. Get through this tedious, miserable life.

And on top of all of that, I had to do yard work that morning. I frowned at my yard full of calf-high weeds, with nothing but a low-power weed whacker in my hand (the lawn mower wouldn’t start up that morning of course).

My yard was representative of the clutter and chaos that was going on in my mind.

An Audiobook Opened My Eyes

That morning, I decided I would listen to something other than my usual music while I tackled those weeds. I turned on a motivational audiobook and got to work.

The more I listened to the words (the author’s gentle voice with her delightful Australian accent, the impeccable production and sound effects) the less troubled I was about those weeds. I whacked my way through them with ease. Before I knew it, I was done, smiling, and I even put a special thought and blessing on my lawn so that it would start growing regular green grass again. The book taught me that. Something had sparked inside of me.

From that point on audiobooks became my best friends. I listened to at least one per day, and before I knew it my life started to change right before my eyes. Almost all of the audiobooks I listened to have the same general theme — change the way you think about things if you want to improve your life. Also, we alone have the power to create our own realities.

Convenient, Simple and a Fast Turnaround

One of the benefits of audiobooks as opposed to printed books is that you can listen to them when you’re doing other things, like cooking, driving, working out or cutting down a jungle of weeds as I was doing that day.

Another is that nowadays you don’t have to fumble around with CDs. I can listen to my audio books on my cellphone with a pair of headphones thanks to Audible, iTunes and other services. It’s simple and to the point — just download and listen.

An On-Demand Therapist

I also believe that the message that an author is trying to convey sinks in quicker when she just says it to you. It’s kind of like talking to a therapist. It also lasts longer in your mind. It comes back to you when you’re involved with other things.

My transformation happened in two months. Seriously. I hit the ground running — I wrote and published two books, started blogging and took back up writing professionally. Inspired by the audiobook I listened to that morning when I was doing yard work, I created an audio form of my popular dating advice guide Let Him Chase You. Later I published Survive, Live or Thrive?

Pushing Forward

I may have my tough days here and there, but they are few and far between. They’re minor to me now. I have learned how to properly approach life’s obstacles and be thankful for my blessings. My mind is made up.

So what about you? Which audiobook will be the one that changes your life?

Lynn Gilliard is the author of the self-help audiobook Survive, Live or Thrive? and Let Him Chase YOU, a dating guide for women. Both are now available at Audible.com for free when you sign up for a new account with your Amazon email.

 

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Let Him Chase You Book

Question: How Do You Break Free from Mental Slavery?

As I write this blog post, I’m feeling a bit “down” and have been for a couple of weeks after yet again losing someone very near and dear to me. But even in the midst of a temporary mental fog, I can still see the truth very clearly.

Today I wrote the following post on my Twitter account — the thought just came to me out of the blue.

“@LoveLynnGee: The chains of mental slavery are the most difficult to break free from #LoveLynn”

One of my followers must be on the same frequency because she responded right back asking: how do you break free from mental chains? I decided to write a blog post about this because it’s a message I need to hear myself at the moment.

Let’s start here: “The definition of insanity (a form of mental bondage) is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.” – unknown

Oftentimes we stay mentally imprisoned by a counterproductive routine or action. We’re stuck doing, saying or thinking something that we’ve been doing saying and thinking every day for the majority of our lives.

If that action or thought process isn’t effecting positive change in our lives, we have to do something else. But many of us choose to stay chained to those same routines because it’s “comfortable” or because we’re afraid of what could happen if we step outside of it.

So I believe this is one key to breaking free from mental slavery — being brave enough to step outside of a comfort zone and try something COMPLETELY new.

The next is this: “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” – Marianne Williamson

Fear is possibly the most negative emotion that someone can have. Living in fear is what keeps many of us in mental chains for the whole time we’re here.

As the quote from Marianne Williamson says, we learn fear from other scared people. It’s not a natural emotion.

Where did you learn to be afraid? I learned it from family members, teachers and peers who meant well and only wanted to keep me safe. They may have been afraid of losing me. But they were slowly helping me into mental chains strengthened by fear. You become afraid to act, think or even feel as time goes on. As I mentioned early, you’re afraid to step out and do something different.

Fear inspires us to make irrational, rushed choices and actions that can alter the entire course of our lives. It erases logic. So I would also say that another key to breaking free from mental slavery is to conquer fear. Stare it in the face and do it anyway.

And then there’s this: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Many of us are stuck in mental slavery because we’re really angry at someone or something. We feel slighted by a person, a circumstance or even the Universe / God for not being fair to us. We feel that someone or something has FAILED us in life.

When we hold onto anger it eats us up from the inside out until it has taken complete control over our lives.

It’s hard as hell, but we have to come to a place of genuine forgiveness in our hearts for people who we feel have wronged us. You have to come to a place where you accept the fact that as an adult no one is obligated to you BUT you. We design and create our lives. We alone decide if we’re going to remain chained to a negative mentality.

There may be other solutions, but I believe that these three are the keys to breaking free from mental slavery. As they say in rehab programs, the first step to getting free is admitting that there’s a problem in the first place.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a self-help guide entitled Survive, Live or Thrive? and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.