Category: life

For the Ladies…21 Things to Keep in Your House

Your home should be a place of respite, where you feel relaxed and happy. It’s where you recharge to face your day boldly. To achieve that feeling, you should you have everything that you might need in your house or apartment. Some things that seem like wants are actually needs, because they make your life easier and more comfortable. Consider these 21 items you would want to keep in your house to make it feel more like home.

1. A Good Cup (Or 3)

There are so many beverages that you probably consume on a daily basis, whether it’s tea, milk, a smoothie, or a health drink. Sometimes all you need is the right cup to make your beverage more appetizing and appealing. For example, I like to drink green health drinks, so I purchased a green blender bottle to use just for this reason. And have you ever watched British television shows where they are always having a “spot of tea.” They use the most delightful tea cups and tea sets to serve it. It’s better to sip tea from a beautiful little cup and saucer than from a plain mug.

2. A Covered Trash Can

If you own or lease a home and have to take your garbage out weekly, those rascally night creatures are sure to start jumping in your food trash. The result is a mess you’ll have to clean up in the morning. So, it’s important to have a solid trash can with a secure lid. You can buy lids by themselves, separate from the trash can, on Amazon. I recently purchased this one.

3. A Back Support Pillow

If you’re among the millions of people who are working from home now, you might miss the stability of sitting in an office chair that has some support for your back. Invest in a back support pillow to help keep your back aligned properly as you work, or even when you’re just watching television. You can also get a back girdle for support to wear when you’re sitting.

4. Disinfectant Wipes

It may be difficult to find them right now, but if you can find disinfectant wipes, get a few bottles for your house. Keep one in the bathroom, one in the kitchen, and one in the living area of your house. Use them sparingly for quick disinfecting of surfaces, items you bring into the house, and your electronics.

5. Candles (For Multiple Reasons Including Self Care)

A friend of mine invited me to a candle making event. It was surprisingly fun and enlightening. I made a candle with lavender and jasmine scents. I was (and is) wonderful. Sometimes you just have to light a candle and get a whiff of those lovely smells to make your home feel more comfortable and relaxed. It’s also nice to have a candle’s soothing scents while you’re having a bath or listening to music.

6. A Package of Hot Oil Caps or Thermal Hair Cap

When your hair is dry and crackly, it is more likely to start breaking off at the ends. A hot oil treatment or deep conditioning leave in can help repair some of the damage. Keep a package of hot oil caps in your bathroom for those days when you decide to treat your hair–you can find them in the dollar store. Or just invest in a thermal cap for your hair. It helps keep the heat in so that the product can do its job.

7. A Good Chair or Recliner

Everyone needs their own chair. A place where they sit with regularity. A place where they feel the most comfortable, like they are where they are supposed to be. Find a special chair or recliner that fits you, your style (color, fabric, etc.), and your space.

8. A Comfy Robe

Have you ever been to a hotel where they provided plush robes? It’s heavenly. You can have that at home. Get yourself an oversized, thick, plush robe in whatever color you prefer to use for your showers or baths. You can also just use it to walk around the house on Saturdays and Sundays in the fall or winter.

9. Air Purifier

Do you have cats or dogs as pets? If so, you can bet that their hair is flying in the air constantly. Pet dander isn’t the only thing that can irritate your nose, also the pollen that flies in the air during the spring and summer. An air purifier can help clear up a lot of the irritants that float in the air during the year. You can find one for under $100, set it up in the room where you sneeze the most, then move it to other rooms throughout the day. Totally worth it.

10. Water Filtering Pitcher

I like to drink high quality water from springs, reverse osmosis, or with electrolytes. When there was a potential issue finding these waters I realized that I needed a back-up plan. So, I bought a water filtering pitcher. It removes unwanted materials from your faucet water. If you have pets, this is a very useful item to have in your home.

11. Chromecast Device or Compatible TV

When you’re forced to stay in the house for a long period of time, it helps to have access to great shows to keep you occupied. I mean of course you can always read a book or busy yourself with a hobby, but sometimes it just helps to watch a television show. I prefer shows that teach me things about human nature, science, or things of the past. One item you might want to keep in your house is a Chromecast device or similar, or a television that has the casting capability built in.

12. Privacy Curtains

What’s the point of having a window if you can’t look out of it or let the sun shine in? A privacy curtain allows you to look out and bring light into your home while blocking viewing from the outside. They come usually in white, but I believe they may be available in other colors.

13. A High-Quality Moisturizer and Lotion

The skin is the body’s largest organ, and it needs nourishment on a regular basis. It’s important to have a good moisturizer for your face and lotion for the rest of your body. I like Gold Bond products. For my face, I currently prefer SheaMoisture products. Find what works for you, and keep an ample supply in your bathroom or bedroom.

14. Beans and Rice

In the early weeks of the 2020 crisis, I told everyone I cared about to stock up on beans and rice. They laughed at me. But when it comes down to it, these are two of the most reliable ingredients you can have in your pantry. They last a long time and really fill you up Just get a few bags and store them away. Then carry on with life as usual.

15. A Pair of Oversized Sweats and Hoodie

Everyone doesn’t have the time to get dressed to the nines to go out to grocery shop or run errands. It helps to have a handy pair of sweatpants and a hoodie to put on when you just have to run out quickly or do some work in your yard.

16. Organizing Baskets

Are your things strewn all over a table or on your bathroom sink? You will be pleasantly surprised by how wonderful you’ll feel when it’s all organized into baskets. Finally, you can find things quickly and feel good about how your space looks.

17. Lawn Mower or Trimmer

If you’re a homeowner, you know how important it is to maintain your yard. You need tools to keep things in order. At the very least have a trimmer to get rid of weeds. If you can, invest in a lawn mower to keep things tidy.

18. A Good Non-Stick Pan

Most of your meals are probably going to have to be prepared or heated up in a frying pan, so make sure you have a good one. Non-stick pans like this one are usually very easy to use and clean. Pick a non-stick pan that will last you for at least a year or two.

19. Wall Power Station with Cellphone Charging Slots and Surge Protection

Turn two plugs into three or more when you buy a wall power station. Simply plug the wall power station into your existing power slots and add the screws provided as needed. Have a handyman or professional help you with this if you’re unfamiliar. This will allow you to charge your cellphones quickly and easily. You’ll also have more space for other electronic needs.

20. Large Tote Containers

If there is one thing you’ve probably learned after having to quarantine in your house for months, it’s that you need a stash of food, cleaners, and other household needs. Make sure you have one or two large tote containers that you can seal and keep in your pantry or a cool room.

21. Battery Powered Radio (And All Types of Batteries)

While you may only listen to the radio when you’re in your car, it’s important to have one in your home as well. A battery powered radio is and always will be a reliable way to get updates about what is going on in the world. It’s battery powered, so it’s not reliant on electricity. Just make sure you always have plenty of AA, C, and D batteries.

Of course, there are other needs that could be added to your list of 21 things to keep in your house, like plenty of pet food, video cameras, and protective devices. This is a good start though. Take good care of yourself, your home, and your loved ones.

Love Lynn

Excuses People Make to Get Off of the Phone

Excuses people make instead of just saying you aren’t important enough for them to talk to.

I have to scrub my feet and toes.

I am about to watch this show on Netflix, so…

I’m about to heat up this Lean Cuisine meal.

Oh someone is on the other line I’ll call you back later (but they don’t).

I’m at work, got to get back. (Then they go and drink watered down office coffee and do nothing.)

Something hurts. Neck back ankle etc. Gotta go!

XYZ is happening right now and I have to go. So.

When people make up these types of excuses to get off the phone with you, it’s because they truly just do not want to talk to or help you. Know this and adjust your expectations.

One day, bet, they will probably come looking for you for help because right now they think they won’t ever need it.

Maya Angelou said when people show you who they are you have to believe them the first time. Do your best now to find other friends and people who you can really rely on.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Her latest book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth.

Follow Lynn on Twitter: @LoveLynnGee

You *Should* Care What *Someone* Thinks About You

Countless self-help books, quotes and gurus tell us that we shouldn’t care what other people think. That you should just do you. I believe I’ve even provided this advice to some degree in my books and blogs.

But after some thought I have come to realize that this isn’t entirely the best advice. I believe that you shouldn’t care about what everyone else thinks about you but you should care about what someone thinks about you.

Without boundaries, which are often set and established by the people we love and trust, our lives can quickly devolve into a chaotic mess. If you don’t have anyone in this world whose opinion you care about, there are no checks and balances. Sometimes we need the opinion of another person to stay grounded and headed in the right direction.

Take the case of young girls who fall victim to drug abuse, violent relationships and/or sex work. They often grow up without boundaries and pretty much put up a middle finger to everyone in the world. They don’t respect or care about the opinions of their parents, their friends, mentors, teachers or anyone else who might help them live a better life. Not caring about anyone’s opinion often leads them down the path of destruction.

Another thought. Currently in the US, we have a few leaders who think that they can do whatever they want, no matter who it hurts or affects. As much as they might not care about what anyone thinks about their deeds, that mentality will backfire. The opinions of their fellow citizens do matter.

Here’s one more example. I recently watched the Amazon series Z. It’s the story of Zelda Fitzgerald and her husband F. Scott Fitzgerald. They fell in love at first sight and had a whirlwind romance that quickly lead to marriage. But Zelda was unaware of her husband’s wild and lascivious lifestyle. He had no boundaries and neither did his friends. They lived life on their own terms, not caring what anyone thought of them (or so they said). Before she knew it, Zelda was swept up by it all and living that life as well. She died fairly young in a mental hospital.

To reiterate, I don’t think that you should go through life caring about what everyone around you thinks. It’s oppressive to be constantly self-conscious and insecure. But I do think that there is value in having someone in this world whose opinion matters to you, whether it’s a parent, a friend, a mentor or God.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is an author and blogger. Her new book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth. She is also the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Handling Tasks: Do Less Things with More Intention

I think that sometimes we feel as if our actions don’t count because we do dozens of things very quickly in our day. As women, we’ve often been conditioned to do so much in such a short period of time. You jump from one thing to the next, never really being able to enjoy your day or live in the moment. At the end of the day, you might feel like you haven’t really accomplished anything at all.

So maybe it’s best to choose just one or two things to do each day with intention, dedication and care.

For instance, I decided on this particular day that I was going to clear out my refrigerator from top to bottom then reorganize it. This will make it much easier for me to see the foods I have available so that I’ll be more likely to eat them. My plan includes enjoying a delicious snack (maybe some cheese and salami), maybe a glass of wine or champagne and of course a great Audiobook.

cleanfridge
Photo courtesy of Flickr/angryjuliemonday

Now if I decided to do this task on a whim when I was already overwhelmed with things to do, I’d probably just quickly throw a few things out and take shortcuts. But because I’ve decided to do this ONE task with intention, dedication and care, it will be done right. And I will enjoy the fruits of this task for many weeks. I’ll remember that I accomplished something.

Here are a few other tasks that can be done with intention, dedication and care that you’ll remember long after you’ve done them:

  • Cleaning and waxing your car (wax on wax off).
  • Clearing out your garage and giving stuff away to charity (be sure to keep the receipt).
  • Removing all of your clothes from your closet and giving anything you haven’t worn for over a year away promptly to charity.
  • Spending hours perfecting a new look (hair, makeup, outfit).
  • Cooking a very tasty, very healthy meal for yourself and packing the leftovers in trays for future lunches.
  • Planting a small area of your yard with a colorful array of flowers, taking care to plan out how they will look.
  • Brushing and grooming your pet.
  • Taking down your entire bed, freshening the mattress with a shampooer, washing your sheets in your favorite detergent or replacing them with 300 count sheets.
  • Writing 1 short story, blog post or article that is carefully thought-out and researched.
  • Reading a book, taking a 2-hour online course or practicing a language.

Now if you tried to do all of these things in one day or one weekend, you would be overwhelmed and they would be done poorly. But if you commit to doing JUST ONE THING the job will get done THE RIGHT WAY. And you’ll feel better about your accomplishment for the day.

womansitting

 

As you can probably see, this idea (doing things with intention) is also about self-care. Pick tasks that are directly beneficial to you. Not only do you feel better about yourself for having accomplished something, you have also done something that will make your day, week or life much easier and more enjoyable.

You matter and your actions matter. Do something with intention, dedication and care this week.

Love Lynn

 

Update 10/10/16 11pm: Mission accomplished!
fridgecleaned

 


Lynn Gilliard is an author and blogger. Her new book You Matter encourages women to know and understand their worth. She is also the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

 

Featured photo courtesy of Flickr/allkindsofnew

 

Boxing Yourself In (Fortress Building) Is Not Empowering #LoveLynn

There’s a chapter in Robert Greene’s famous book The 48 Laws of Power that says the following:

“Do not build fortresses to protect yourself – isolation is dangerous.” (Law #18)

His main point was that putting a fortress around yourself limits your access to information, knowledge and new experiences. We’ve been taught from a young age that information is power. Experience is the best teacher.

Yet in this day in age (2015 is the year I’m writing this post) many of us choose to box ourselves in and separate ourselves from the rest of the world.

I believe that our wide access to the internet, social media and countless ways to watch tv (Netflix, cable, Hulu, Youtube) has made it much easier to build these personal “fortresses” and refuse to let others in. All you have to do is get under the covers, turn on a movie and get lost in someone else’s world until you fall asleep. The urge to get out and have contact with others diminishes more and more over time.

Shielding Yourself from Being Hurt Again
I know all about how easy it is to start boxing yourself in. It often comes from a deep seeded need to shield yourself from being hurt after being hurt SO many times in your life. So many people have offended, disappointed and betrayed you that you begin to believe the whole world is out to get you.

And that’s not a healthy place to be if you want to thrive in life. You can’t be empowered when you’re in complete isolation.

Human beings have an innate desire for purpose. Deep down we all want to be useful, necessary and important in this world. And it’s hard to do that when you choose to separate yourself from others.

You need contact with other souls in order to be healthy, wealthy and wise. How can you learn and grow if your only contact with other people is the fake, manufactured personas that you see on television or the internet? How will you ever have a chance to come in contact with a soul mate if you cut the world off and box yourself in forever?

Offenses Will Come
Like someone wise once said, there will always be offenses to contend with in life. There will always be that someone who gets on your nerves. There will be that girl at the department store who tosses you an attitude, or a family member who brings up something hurtful to try to bring you down.

But that’s a part of life, and more importantly it’s not what happens to you in life, it’s how you choose to react to it. That’s what makes all the difference when dealing with others.

When you get back out there into the world and someone offends you, you have to think about the proper reaction in order to stay empowered.

When the girl at the department store gives you an attitude, just smile or laugh and tell her to have a good day anyway. When your family member comes to you with that same old story, this time laugh and make light of it. They only bring it up because they know it irks you, and they crave that negative reaction from you.

When others offend you, don’t join them in their misery.

Getting Back Out There
Here are some ideas to help you start coming down from your ivory tower:

– Go to Meetup.com, choose a group and randomly go to an event near you. You can go alone (make sure it’s a safe, public location). Go with a positive attitude and smile a lot.

– Join a cooking or painting class. Look for an “intimate” class of about 10 people where you’re almost guaranteed to have to speak to someone.

– Go to an adult learning class that will pique your interest, such as starting a business or managing your money. Ask plenty of questions and become the teacher’s “pet.”

– Wave hello to a friendly neighbor once in a while and smile at people you see when in town. 8 times out of 10 they will smile back. There’s a powerful energy exchange going on there–soak it in as much as possible.

Start with these ideas and use them to fuel more inspirations for how to rejoin the world. In exploring your interests (known and new) you will start to feel yourself coming out of that box and back into a place of power.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a book of life and love advice for women entitled Why Doesn’t He Love Me? and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

4 Easy Things You Can Do Today for a Better Week

Feeling a bit down, very tired, no energy or lacking clarity? Here are four easy things that you can do today for a better week. They are quick, simple and free in some cases — all that’s required is your commitment to setting aside a bit of time in your day to do them.

Do This 15 Minute Yoga Session
When I tried my first yoga class it was an hour long, painful and a little embarrassing because I couldn’t hold every position, so I never went back. However it did make my body and mind feel good afterwards, so I still do yoga on my own at home. If you want to feel better than usual this week, do this 15 minute yoga session today.

Turn Off the TV and Your Phone and Meditate in Nature for 30 Minutes
The television and your cellphone are major distractions in your day. If you’re not careful, they could begin to direct your life in negative ways. So set aside at least a half an hour today to turn off all electronics and meditate. If it’s a nice day, go out into nature to enjoy the outdoors while you meditate. If you think you’ll be bothered by bugs, just spray yourself with a repellent (I like Skin So Soft) or light a citronella candle.

Just sit in peace and listen to the sounds around you. If you want, you can also listen to meditation music in the background. Close your eyes and allow your whole body to relax, from your temples all the way down to your toes. Sit like that and allow relaxing thoughts to come to you.

Listen to 1 Short Motivational Audiobook for 1 or 2 Hours
You may be surprised by how much listening to one short audiobook can improve your week. There are audiobooks that are only 1 or 2 hours long–just long enough to finish while you’re commuting, cooking, cleaning or resting. Start an Audible membership with your Amazon account and use it to get a good audiobook for free, or purchase it outright (most short ones are under $8).

Happy Lady
It’s OK to Be Happy

Add a Handful of Greens to Each Meal
Ask any nutritionist and she will tell you that one of the most important food categories to have in your diet is “green leafy vegetables.” That includes spinach, kale, collards, romaine and green leafy lettuce. Add a handful of the greens you like best to every meal today. So for instance, you might put a handful of spinach into your omelet in the morning (delicious), a handful of green leafy lettuce to your sandwich for lunch and a handful of cooked collard greens to your dinner plate. Try to turn this into a habit, and you will start to feel and look much better. You may even be inspired to create your own small organic vegetable garden this year to grow your own “healing greens.”

Think you can do these four easy things today or tomorrow? I think you can. Your biggest challenge may be turning off the TV and social media for a while, but you can do it. You don’t have to climb mountains in order to make positive changes in your life. Start with small but significant gestures that only take small portions of your day to complete.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a book of life and love advice for women entitled Why Doesn’t He Love Me? and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Going Against the Grain or Going Along to Get Along?

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
– Mark Twain

Have you ever gone along with something, whether it was an idea, an action or a joke just because most of your friends or family members agree with it?

Yet something deep down inside tells you that something’s not quite right. That is your intuition talking to you, but unfortunately sometimes we ignore that voice. We choose the path of least resistance and just go along to get along.

Going against the grain (a euphemism for going one way when everyone else is going the other way) seems too difficult a task at first. You may have to deal with ridicule or judgment for your choices. Wouldn’t it just be easier to just agree with everyone and go with the crowd?

But there is SO much freedom in going against the grain when it’s warranted. For one, your conscience is FREE, because you know deep down that you’re doing the right thing. And you’re also freeing yourself from the mental slavery that comes with “group think.” The more people who go along with a certain belief, thought, obsession or action, the tougher it is to resist joining the ranks.

When I first decided that I would work for myself and own my own business, many of the people around me laughed and judged me. I frequently heard “why don’t you just go get a *real* job?” Today many of those same people struggle in careers they don’t really like. I decided to go against the grain, and I love what I do. It’s not always easy work being an entrepreneur, but I earn, have freedom AND I’m able to express my creativity every day.

People are always trying to impose their views and opinions on others — you have the free will and right to not agree if you wish. Exercise that free will at every and any opportunity!

Don’t ever be afraid to go against the grain when necessary. Your skin might get “prickled” a little along the way, but you may look up soon enough to clearly see that you chose the right path for YOU.

Love Lynn

Now Available at Amazon & Audible.com!

Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a book of life and love advice for women entitled Why Doesn’t He Love Me? and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Shed the Old to Make Room for the New… #LifeAdvice

Have you ever heard the saying that we change every 7 years? Well, it turns out that this “old wives tale” may actually based in a scientific fact. Experts say that parts of the body (namely the skeleton/bones) completely renew every 7 years. So in a way, you’re a different or new person every 7 years. Some cells renew as often as every 7 days.

But in order to allow any of those new cells ROOM to grow, old cells must perish and leave our system. It’s impossible for the “old” to stay and occupy the same space.

Knowing this to be true, it begs this question: is it possible that many of us are crowding our lives with old stuff instead of making room for new things to come in?

Let me give you an example. My house was full of old items and furniture that I barely used for many years. I wasn’t happy with it. With the assistance of some loved ones, I cleaned it up and removed most of the “stuff” that was crowding up the living space. It is like it is a whole new place and I regularly get new ideas for how to make it even more comfortable.

Another example. Do you have friends in your life who may be holding you back from making progress? Maybe they put you down, talk behind your back, discourage you or stand you up when you’re supposed to go out together. You might have to “shed” those “friends” from your life first in order to make room for some better ones who will support and encourage you.

Why Does It Take So Long for Good Things to Happen?

One of the questions that I address in my book Why Doesn’t He Love Me? is “Why does it seem like it takes so long for good things to happen in my life?” Maybe one answer to that question is that you must first first sweep away the old, not so good stuff that’t there before the good things can make their way into your life.

Are you holding onto some old stuff from your past that needs to be shed? Maybe that’s part of what’s holding you back from taking a positive step in the right direction. Think about it and then take the necessary action.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is the author of a book of life and love advice for women entitled Why Doesn’t He Love Me? and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

Guidance vs Pushing Opinions on Others

I recently watched the Lifetime biopic Whitney, about the life of one of my favorite entertainers of all time — Whitney Houston. It centered around the romantic relationship she had with her ex-husband Bobby Brown.

In one scene, Whitney announces to her family that she is getting married to Bobby and her family flips their collective lids! In the movie, her mother warns her that he will bring her down, but she defiantly stayed by his side. In the end, her mother was right and they eventually divorced. He seemed to love her, but the energy that he shared with Whitney did ultimately contribute to her fall from "grace" in the public eye, as her mother advised.

What is the difference between giving someone guidance and forcing your will on them? I think there can be a fine line.

On one hand, you can’t tell someone how to live her life. She is ultimately the person who will decide the direction it will take.

On the other hand, if you know something that another person doesn’t know, isn’t it irresponsible not to try to warn them?

Sometimes I feel that some segments of our culture have been on the decline because so many people are insistent on living a totally "free" life where they just go where the wind blows. They don’t want to hear the opinions of others because they find it too "oppressive." But how can you learn and grow in a productive way if you refuse to accept well-intentioned guidance from others? Values, mores and standards help keep us all level-headed.

I think that the difference between guidance and forcing your will on others is the source. If people trust you and value your opinion, your advice is more likely to be considered valuable guidance. If you are considered a "messy" and judgmental person who doesn’t practice what you preach, your opinion is more likely to be considered an oppression or intrusion — even if it does hold some value.

A Little Guidance on Accepting Guidance 🙂
Live your life the way that you want to live it AND also be open to positive guidance from others from time to time. An opinion from another person is not always meant to be judgment or oppression — sometimes it is a blessing. You never know if one small piece of advice from someone can save you from unnecessary, long-term stress and strife.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOUand an upcoming book of life advice for women entitled Why Doesn’t He Love Me?

Women, If You Could Have 2 Questions Answered About Life…

I am in the process of writing a new book on the questions that we women torture ourselves with throughout our lives.

My question to you: if you could have 2 questions answered about your life (as a woman) what would those 2 questions be?

Submit your response below — your question may be featured in the book!

Thank you in advance for your thoughtful response.
Love Lynn