Category: Self-Help


Mar
2014

You’re Attracting Things into Your Life All the Time (Examples)

categories: Achieving Goals, Dealing With People, Law of Attraction, Law of Love, Pursing Your Dreams, Pursuing Your Dreams, Self-Help

We all have that one person in our lives who always seems to be wrapped up in drama right? The “drama queen or king.” They think that the world is out to get them, but refuse to take ownership of the part that they are playing in the drama.

Many people fail to see how they are drawing negative people, experiences and situations into their lives by their own words, thoughts and actions.

For example, when you have low self-esteem you draw other low self-esteem people around you OR people who want to take advantage of you at your low point.

When you believe that everyone is out to get you and you’re always ready for a fight, you’re eventually going to get exactly what you’re asking for.

Constantly talking about lack, being broke and penny pinching draws more money struggles into your life.

Even something as simple as the types of songs you feed your mind daily can attract things or people to you. Listening to lyrics that constantly degrade women could draw people into your life who are disrespectful to women.

Take a close look at your life right now. Think about how you might be attracting good or bad things into your day to day reality?

An Example from My Life
Not very long ago I was feeling as if no one in the world, cared, needed or loved me. I would sit at Starbucks, dinner by myself, or just in my home alone feeling invisible. Feeling sorry for myself.

Today everything is so different — in a good way. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the attention and love I receive from the world. I am in high demand with the people in my life, to the point where I feel as if I have to give them a number and schedule an appointment for them !

What changed? I talk about this in my new book Survive, Live or Thrive?

There are so many things that changed, but the main answer is that I changed my mindset and the way that I choose to interact with the world.

I’m no longer angry and combative and feeling sorry for myself. I have taken full responsibility for my life and my choices and it really feels great.

I feel confident and happy. I treat people the way that I want to be treated. I don’t focus on petty things. I replace the urge to worry with positive thoughts of the best resolution to the issue.

And I have come to the realization that I was the one who was attracting all of that bad and sad stuff into my life, unconsciously.

We Are Constantly Creating Our Lives
This is a simple law of the universe that many of us don’t realize is happening every day in every way.

We are the ones who create our world. We unconsciously draw things into our lives by the way we talk, the way we feel, the way we think and the people we spend most of our time with. We are in charge of the creation process.

So if you want a better life, if you don’t like where you live, if you don’t like the people you’re around or you don’t like the way your bank account is set up, start creating a new life. Change it. Only you have the power to do that — you can’t sit around waiting for someone to swoop in and change your life for you.

Change the way you think, talk and interact with the world, starting today. Decide what you want and once you have that in mind, everything you say, think about and do should be about that goal.

Start today. Start right now. Stay strong, stay positive and continue educating yourself on how to get to exactly where you want to be.

Love Lynn

 

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Lynn Gilliard is a prolific writer and transformational blogger. She is the author of the self-help book Survive, Live or Thrive?  and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU .


Mar
2014

One Day… Why Not NOW?

categories: Achieving Goals, Growing, Pursuing Your Dreams, Self-Help

A lot of us go through life, going through the motions. We wait for the day that someone will show up and vindicate us for all the hard work we’ve done. We wait for the day when someone will recognize us for the struggle we’ve gone through.

We hope for that “one day”… someone (maybe Jesus, maybe a boyfriend, maybe a woman friend) will come into our lives and say “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that” or “You are a saint for what you’ve tolerated.”

And this very well may happen some day. But the longer you wait for it to happen, the more and more resentment and anger builds up.

So instead of waiting for that one day, why not make it happen today? You don’t have to wait for *another person* to let you off the hook. Let YOURSELF off of the hook. Tell your own self those things that you so desperately want to hear:

– you are so special
– you are amazing for what you do
– you are so hard working
– God is so proud of you

Whatever it may be.

Start living for YOU today.

One Day I Will… When…
There is another kind of “One Day” some of us secretly hold in mind. The one that says:

One day I will ___(fill in the blank)___ when I __(fill in the blank)___

– One day I will get a better job when I get my degree

– One day I will go to the spa when I get vacation time

– One day I will start my own business when my credit gets better

– One day I will move when I save enough money

This phrase is often an excuse to delay action today. Talk is cheap — action matters.

So if you really want to make those things happen, what can you do TODAY to make them more of a reality?

– Instead of waiting for your degree for a better job, start researching better paying jobs that you may be qualified for. You may find that you can make a lot more money RIGHT NOW doing something that you’re already skilled at.

– Instead of waiting for time off to act on going to the spa, make an appointment RIGHT NOW — even if it’s a couple of weeks from now. If cash-flow is an issue at the moment, you now have a clear goal in mind to save up $50 or so for a good massage and facial!

– If you want to start a business, you don’t need perfect credit to do so. You may need good credit to get financing, but there’s nothing stopping you from getting started on a business plan TODAY.

– If your ultimate goal is to move, do you have a clear idea in your mind of WHERE you want to move? Do you know exactly how much it would cost to do that? Even if you don’t have enough cash for the deposit or moving costs, you can take steps RIGHT NOW to get things rolling in that direction.

Let’s stop using that phrase “One Day” and start embracing the idea that there are actions and steps we can take TODAY to achieve our goals and get satisfaction out of life.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of Survive, Live or Thrive? a self-help guide for people who feel stuck in a rut, and a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.


Mar
2014

New Book: Survive, Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard

categories: Achieving Goals, Dealing with Family, Dealing With People, Growing, Law of Attraction, Law of Love, Learning, life, Love, Negativity, New Books, Pursing Your Dreams, Pursuing Your Dreams, Self-Esteem, Self-Help, Self-Love, True Stories

New Book:

Survive, Live or Thrive?

by L. Lynn Gilliard

 

Simple Life Tips for Those Who Feel Stuck in a Rut

This is a guide for those who feel that they may be stuck in a rut in one or more areas of their life, including:

– pursuing your dreams
– making good money
– dating and love relationships
– family relationships
– self-love

Though the book is specifically targeted for women who are experiencing challenges in their lives, the concepts apply to everyone. Fueled by the idea that life is meant to be easy and enjoyable, it is loaded with stories, blog posts from Lynn’s websites and other inspirations and thoughts to help propel you to the ultimate goal: THRIVING in every area of your life.

Get the Amazon Paperback Here

 

Audio version – Coming soon


Mar
2014

You Can’t Be Everything to Everyone… Especially If You’re Nothing to Yourself

categories: Dealing with Family, Dealing With People, Learning, Pursuing Your Dreams, Self-Help, Self-Love

Why is it that some of us think so much of others but not much of ourselves?

Maybe because we’ve allowed so many negative messages about ourselves to enter our heads over the years since childhood, but for some reason we don’t think anyone else could have had the same experience.

In our minds, everyone else is living well and oh so happy. Everyone else is just great! But we can’t see the greatness in ourselves.

sad sunflower
Courtesy © Ivan Chuyev | Dreamstime Stock Photos

The truth is that everyone else around us is probably going through the same stuff. But because we think everyone ELSE is awesome and perfect, we will do more for them and pay more attention to them than our own selves. How twisted is that?

Women do this the most by far.

Do you downgrade yourself when talking about yourself but uplift and support everyone else?

Are you always coming to the rescue of others but don’t think you’re worthy or important enough to help yourself?

Do you minimize your own light to let the light of others to shine brighter?

This can apply to something as seemingly minor as neglecting to tell people that it’s your birthday. Are you the type of person who will hold back from telling people that it’s your birthday, on the day of your birthday, for fear of seeming “narcissistic” or self serving? I used to be one of those people, but now I am more than happy to tell everyone who will listen that it’s my b-day or that it’s coming up soon. Yes! This was the day that the awesome human being that is ME came to be. Celebrate with me baby!

And guess what? I get gifts, birthday wishes and special dinner offers when I do that!

So here is the question of this post:
How can you be everything to everyone else when you’re nothing to yourself?

The answer is that you can’t. No way possible. Even people who have sky high self-esteem and self-worth know that it’s impossible to please or help everyone.

Take care of yourself! I can’t stress this enough. It’s admirable to want to help others but it’s only truly EFFECTIVE when you’re mentally, emotionally, physically and financially healthy first.

Love Lynn


Feb
2014

3 Reasons Why Being Selfless Is Actually Pretty Selfish

categories: Pursuing Your Dreams, Self-Help

A quick search of the definition of selflessness turns up this result:
“Having, exhibiting or motivated by no concern for oneself.”

In other words, being selfless is like trying to be a martyr. You sacrifice your needs in favor of others. You don’t care about yourself (or at least you say you don’t), only others.

Some believe that this term is synonymous with being unselfish, but I disagree. Let me tell you why I think being selfless is actually a very selfish way to live.

1. It Creates a Vacuum.
Being selfless is not normal. It basically says that everyone else in the world is important except for you. But you should be the most important person in your life. You are an important being. So when you go about your life with this attitude it’s like you’re creating a sort of vacuum where positive energy (your positive life force) is constantly being sucked out of you but you’re not allowing it to be replaced. When someone does come to you and say “let me help you” the “selfless” attitude within causes you to say “no no no. I don’t need help. I don’t need love. I don’t deserve or want any of that goodness.” You’re rejecting the good from coming back into your life, which is making it harder for the Universe to do its job. The Universe doesn’t like that — it wants you to be filled up to the brim and beyond with good things. Fighting natural laws is selfish.

2. It Demands Recognition.
When you selflessly spread yourself thin by preoccupying yourself with the lives of others, in a way it is a cry for attention, love and recognition. You believe that if you do everything for everybody, one day the world will say “Man, that Sally is just so awesome!” Then when that doesn’t happen as you dreamed it would, and people just start to expect you to help them out all of the time, you become resentful and angry. Constantly putting yourself out on a limb because you want to be seen as a martyr is selfish.

3. You’re Ignoring Your Own Needs. When you’re selfless, you’re actually being the most selfish to YOURSELF. You have needs just like the next person. You matter just like the next person. So if you run yourself ragged every day helping everyone else and don’t even stop to nourish your own mind, body and soul you are doing a great disservice to yourself. You are the only person who you can really count on to take care of your needs. Ignoring your own needs is being selfish to yourself.

When you think about it from this perspective, clearly being selfish and selfless are negative behaviors. A happy, healthy and fulfilled person is open to helping others but not at the expense of her own sanity and well-being.

Do your daily behaviors fall under the category of being “selfless?”

If so, it may be time to re-evaluate. You are important and deserve attention to your needs as well. It’s time to give YOU the attention you need to set your world back into its proper balance.

Love Lynn


Jan
2014

Have You Allowed the World to Put You in “Your Place?”

categories: Achieving Goals, Dealing with Family, Dealing With People, Learning, life, Pursuing Your Dreams, Self-Help

Are you living your life the way you want to live it, or the way you’ve been told or taught you have to live it?

There’s a good chance that you are where you are right now in life because you have allowed the opinions, thoughts, actions and words of other people to pigeonhole you into a certain station in life.

We create and form our reality. What we accept for ourselves is what we get.

Someone, maybe a parent, sibling or peer, insulted you throughout your younger years. Eventually you started to believe that characterization of who you are.

A mean, miserable teacher told you that the only job you would be good at is working at a grocery store. So instead of pursuing a job or career in the field of your choice you continue to work in retail stores. (In fact, schools often shape our futures by forcing us to choose a major without giving us proper counseling about this major life decision.)

Your friends taught you that drinking and getting drop down drunk every weekend or taking drugs is normal, so that’s what you continue to do week after week.

You were told since a young child that getting married and having babies is crucial to being a happy normal woman. But here’s a newsflash: a lot of married women with kids are absolutely miserable! Some young women may be happier if they follow a different path early on before settling down.

Someone may have told you that your skin color wasn’t the “right” shade, or that you weren’t attractive enough, or that you’re not the right size, so you believed those things and took a certain path in life based on that information.

Words can be powerful. Accepting a negative affirmation into your reality is almost like taking a spoonful of slow acting poison that breaks down your life force little by little every day. Accepting the opinions and beliefs of others into your reality can cause low self-esteem, which causes you to live a less fulfilling life. Low self esteem prevents you from dreaming big.

How can we ever manage to live a life that makes us happy if we’re living our lives based on what other people want or see for us?

What do YOU really want for your life? What do YOU see for yourself? Where do YOU want to be? Who do YOU want to share your life with?

If you’re not happy with the way your life has been going, start answering these questions.

Then start envisioning the answers manifesting in your life.

Then start living your life the way it was meant to be lived!

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.


Jan
2014

Yes I Matter, I Come First, and What?: Prioritizing Your Needs As a Woman

categories: Dealing with Family, Dealing With People, Learning, life, Pursuing Your Dreams, Self-Help

As a young girl and woman I was always the one who selflessly gave of myself to others — even when it wasn’t convenient for me. I’d take the smallest portion to eat, even though I had just spent hours in the kitchen cooking the meal. I would relinquish a spot at the outlet in a coffee shop so that someone else could charge up, even if that meant I would have to cut my time working or studying short. I would go out of my way to please men sexually, even when I wasn’t really pleased in return. I would drive people all around town to help them out even if it caused me to be late for my own affairs.

I think a lot of us women do these things in one way or another — putting others ahead of us; putting their needs ahead of ours. It’s a learned behavior — a lot of us learn it from watching the older women in our families do this 24/7 for years and years.

For me that type of thinking is now a distant memory as I have adopted the new motto: “I am the most important person in my life.” I believe that statement should be true in every person’s life.

This is not a call for us to be selfish and neglect everyone around us — it’s a call for us to stop being selfless as women and prioritize our own needs. Being selfless is not good — we NEED self. We need that self to be strong and happy. The truth is that if we’re not okay, we can’t do much good for anyone else. This includes mothers, wives, caregivers, employees and volunteers. It’s crucial that we tend to our own needs first and foremost — only then can we properly tend to the DESERVING AND APPRECIATIVE people on our lives who need our help and provide reciprocal support/love.

So if someone tries to make you feel guilty for putting your needs before theirs, don’t be afraid to stand up and say “YES I MATTER, I COME FIRST IN MY LIFE. Who comes first in YOUR life?”

Showing love and attention to yourself is one of the first bold steps toward complete and unlimited happiness. Start today.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.