Life Love Lynn

24
Jan
2014

Yes I Matter, I Come First, and What?: Prioritizing Your Needs As a Woman

categories: Dealing with Family, Dealing With People, Learning, life, Pursuing Your Dreams, Self-Help

As a young girl and woman I was always the one who selflessly gave of myself to others — even when it wasn’t convenient for me. I’d take the smallest portion to eat, even though I had just spent hours in the kitchen cooking the meal. I would relinquish a spot at the outlet in a coffee shop so that someone else could charge up, even if that meant I would have to cut my time working or studying short. I would go out of my way to please men sexually, even when I wasn’t really pleased in return. I would drive people all around town to help them out even if it caused me to be late for my own affairs.

I think a lot of us women do these things in one way or another — putting others ahead of us; putting their needs ahead of ours. It’s a learned behavior — a lot of us learn it from watching the older women in our families do this 24/7 for years and years.

For me that type of thinking is now a distant memory as I have adopted the new motto: “I am the most important person in my life.” I believe that statement should be true in every person’s life.

This is not a call for us to be selfish and neglect everyone around us — it’s a call for us to stop being selfless as women and prioritize our own needs. Being selfless is not good — we NEED self. We need that self to be strong and happy. The truth is that if we’re not okay, we can’t do much good for anyone else. This includes mothers, wives, caregivers, employees and volunteers. It’s crucial that we tend to our own needs first and foremost — only then can we properly tend to the DESERVING AND APPRECIATIVE people on our lives who need our help and provide reciprocal support/love.

So if someone tries to make you feel guilty for putting your needs before theirs, don’t be afraid to stand up and say “YES I MATTER, I COME FIRST IN MY LIFE. Who comes first in YOUR life?”

Showing love and attention to yourself is one of the first bold steps toward complete and unlimited happiness. Start today.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

10
Jan
2014

Opening Up and Reaching Out: The Lesson a (Formerly) Stray Cat Taught Me

categories: Growing, Learning, life, True Stories

Last night this little black and white cat was outside wrangling bones out of the garbage and sleeping in the cold. Now he’s in my lap, warm and toasty, purring.

I saw him earlier in the day milling around in the freezing cold. He came up to me and meowed like he had something to tell me. I left some food out. Later on that night something made me look outside.

There he was looking right back at me.

I smiled and shook my head. “Come on in kitty,” I told him, and he did.

Reaching Out — Sometimes You Just Have To
I’ve always been the type of person who keeps things in instead of reaching out for help. I have mostly saved my tears and moments of distress for late nights under my covers.

But what I’ve been learning more and more over the years is that sometimes you have to open up and let people in (even just a bit) if you want to live a better and more fulfilled life. Sometimes you need a little help, even if it’s just a positive word of encouragement, and you may be surprised to learn that there are good intentioned people who are more than happy to give it to you.

This little cat helped drive that point home for me. If he hadn’t come up to me to say “hi,” approaching me in such a friendly and open manner, I probably wouldn’t have taken him in, fed him and given him a warm place to sleep. He’s now officially a house cat with a home.

Trust Your Intuition
The main lesson here is that you can’t live your life in fear of people judging or rejecting you, because there’s always that chance that reaching out to one special person will open you up to a new and better opportunity. You have to follow your intuition and do bold or scary things sometimes to unlock those doors.

I don’t think that you should trust *everyone* that you meet, but you should trust your intuition, always. If you feel it is strongly telling you to reach out for help from someone in particular (like kitty over there), don’t let your fear get in the way. Do what you need to do to be healthy, happy and whole.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

01
Jan
2014

The Negative Voices Around You: The Other Shore: The Diana Nyad Story

categories: Achieving Goals, Law of Love, life, Negativity, Pursing Your Dreams, Pursuing Your Dreams, True Stories

I finally had a chance to watch The Other Shore: The Diana Nyad Story documentary. She is the lady who planned a swim from Cuba to Florida. This documentary was a perfect example of how the negative people around you can hold you back from accomplishing things in life.

Diana’s partner was negative about her swim from start to finish. She told Diana she couldn’t do it before, during and after her historic attempts to swim from Cuba to Florida.

In some cases people will discourage you because of their own personal fears.

In other cases it’s jealousy and insecurity because they don’t have the guts to accomplish anything real in life.

In the case of the documentary I watched about the Diana Nyad story, I believe her partner was just really frightened about losing her loved one. And that is understandable.

But regardless of her motivations, it’s still a problem when you have a demotivating person in your life who is constantly telling you that you can’t do something.

They can’t see what you see — all that they can see is the circumstances right in front of them. They can’t dream like you — yet.

Sometimes that negative person’s will and energy is so strong that they can interrupt, intercept or delay your goals. In Diana’s case, what she needed was a BOOST when she hit those milestones. All that she got was fear, doubt and negativity from her peers.

Diana Nyad’s case was extreme because her life was in danger for her dreams. But for most of us, our dreams are attainable without having to risk our lives. Yet some of us still don’t take the chance because we have negative people around us telling us that we can’t. We’re scared of social disapproval and people saying “I told you so.” We care too much about the opinions of other people when it comes to our dreams and goals.

So who do you have in YOUR life that is holding you back from your ultimate accomplishment? You may find that removing that voice from your life might be the one way to open a road toward meeting or achieving your long time goal — and it could happen more quickly than you ever imagined.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.